“It’s this freedom that’s the key to becoming visible again. Not caring what others think is freeing. Expressing yourself any way you want is freeing. Having opinions, emotional wisdom, spiritual understanding…these things free you. And in freedom, we find power.” - Jane Tara
It is only natural to want to experiment, explore and play with the way we look.
One of the ironies of today is that although we have more choices than ever before, most of us tend to look the same. Of all the options and possibilities that exist for how we could look and express ourselves, we stay put in our safe little boxes, secretly yearning to differentiate ourselves with more creative, fearless and authentic self expression, but not daring to step outside the line for fear of being judged.
This is obviously a result of low self esteem and lack of confidence, but its also a sign that we are confused about who we are and who we want to be.
I have noticed that people who don't have the confidence or self understanding to express themselves creatively will often judge those who do (a classic symptom of someone feeling intimidated or jealous by another persons ability to do something they secretly or subconsciously wish they could do).
Another reason some people hold back from creatively expressing themselves is because they may believe they just aren't creative or artistic enough. Sure, some people are more naturally creative and artistic than others, but when it comes to makeup and styling, we are all more than capable! We simply need to stop judging ourselves and start practising/playing!
Of course this is only a general rule/observation. There are always exceptions, for there is no black and white or one size fits all. People are complex and unique and there are many shades of grey. Some people may understand and accept themselves fully and simply have no interest in creatively expressing and differentiating themselves, and that is perfectly fine. Of course we are infinite and limitless beings that cannot be defined by how we look, but as human beings it is also a part of our basic nature to want to experiment, explore and play with the way we look.
The majority of people that I've asked whether they wish they could express themselves more creatively have expressed a clear and definite YES: they wish they could start expressing themselves more fearlessly and creatively. So, if you are one of these people - here are 3 steps that may help you on your way to expressing yourself like a boss.
Step 1 - Adopt a Boss Attitude
Adornment not "fixing"
Makeup is never shallow, vain or superficial if your feet are planted in self-acceptance, self-love and joyful self-expression and self adornment. Humans have been using makeup for ceremony, celebration, self expression & self adornment for thousands of years.
You do not need to "cover", "conceal" or "correct" your "flaws"!
You are a magnificent goddess warrior celebrating and expressing yourself in a sacred ritual of self adornment, much like a warrior painting on your war paint before a battle.
Think Im being a bit dramatic? Think that sounds a bit extreme?
Just think about what you are up against: you live in a society that tells you that you aren't good enough. You live in a world where people judge you based on what you look like, rather than who you are. You live in a world that teaches you that beauty isn't something you already possess, that it is something you must work very hard to obtain and maintain. That you must compete with your fellow sisters in a vertical hierarchy of beauty. That you must wear just the right amount of makeup or look just the right way, to be taken seriously. You live in a world where you are compared to unrealistic and unhealthy images of female beauty that are literally impossible to achieve without surgery or starvation, meaning that you can never feel good enough. And this is why, although you can quite effortlessly see the beauty in others, you cannot see the beauty in yourself.
You are a f%cking warrior!
Every morning look into that mirror and give yourself a pep talk. With each nasty comment you hear your inner beauty beast say to you, give yourself two positive ones. Ignite your inner warrior and reclaim your power to do what is actually the biggest challenge you will ever face: accept and love yourself no matter what.
So look into that mirror warrior woman, look deep into your own eyes and smile, because you are a beauty, and it is your birthright to see that and share it proudly.
Step 2 - Drop Fear & Start Playing
"the whole secret of existence is to have no fear" - Buddha
This is by far the most important step.
In order to get more creative in the mirror, we need to drop our fear of making mistakes and fear of other people's opinions. You will never be able to express yourself to the fullest if you are worried about other peoples opinions or are fearful of making mistakes - and that goes for anything you try in life.
The truth is, there are no mistakes in life, only lessons. So go be lighthearted, re-learn how to play and have fun!
"Play is the highest form of learning" - Einstein
Step 3 - Discover Yourself Like a Boss
"You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are” - John Green
When I see women making common makeup mistakes, such as the wrong foundation colour, over-bronzing, over-highlighting or any other not-so-ideal judgement, I think much of this is due to not living in reality.
I have seen ladies spend hours in the bathroom doing their makeup and yet barely look any different when they done. They were clearly not seeing the same reality I was.
And then there are those who apply their makeup as quickly as possible and then quickly run away from the mirror without having had a proper look at themselves. Go ahead and blame it on the fact you have "no time", but we both know you are try to avoid the beauty beast...
Regardless of whether you are outrageously slow and cautious or carelessly fast, I believe many women simply do not see reality when they look in the mirror. Disillusioned by images they see in the media, crippled by fear and blinded by their insecurities and delusions, instead of seeing the reality of what they actually look like, they have created a false idea in their head about what they look like, and this is why things often go wrong.
In order to make correct decisions regarding what colours to use and where and how to apply your makeup… you must have your feet planted in reality about what you actually look like, such as your bone structure, facial features and skin tone. You must learn to look at yourself and start accepting and appreciate the way you look, instead of trying to be something your not or running from the mirror. To do this, first you must truly get to know yourself.
Ironically, before we can play with fantasy, we must face reality, and sometimes, in order to discover yourself, you must imagine you don't know yourself at all.
“In order to fly, you have to let go of the world your hanging on to” - Kurek Ashley